new life-plan

so i have been watching a lot of food network lately because, a) it's awesome b) there's really not much else on anyways, and c) they put cheese on almost everything (i *heart* cheese. ). however, i am pretty sure that there is no possible way to watch the food network without needing "just a little snack" or possibly half of the menu of whatever restaurant might deliver at that particular time of day. but it's okay because food is culture (that's what the experts are saying now) and we all need more culture (especially italian culture, because they use a lot of cheese. i *heart* cheese.).

so i was immersing myself in culture last night with a little show they call "the best thing i ever ate." holy freaking cow. not only do they show you what might actually be "the best thing that you could ever eat," but they also discuss each little precious ingredient; and, there are pictures, and lovely words, and smacking noises, and sounds that some might think are inappropriate in relation to food--but really--a well-placed, honest-from-the-gut moan for a little piece of food perfection seems highly appropriate if not essential. but that's just me. (and i seriously *heart* cheese.)

anyways--focus, abbey--that is what i was watching. and i am pretty sure that approximately 3.2 minutes into the very first segment of the show, the entire front of my shirt was drenched with the drool seeping from my agape mouth. that's how seriously amazing this food looks. it's mostly like torture, really. pretty close, anyways. delicious, taunting torture.

so, that's how i came up with my new life plan. forget school. (they have bad food there anyways and hardly any cheese. i know, right?) i'm ditching the whole "education" thing and the whole "career goals" and legitimate "plan for my future" deal (all completely overrated, i'm sure)---

and instead---

wait for it---

i am going to eat my way through the country wearing nothing but sweat pants (stretch is good), the biggest smile you have ever seen on a girl, and a big ole t-shirt that says "i *heart* cheese. much better life plan, yes? i thought so too. and i am sure my dad would agree. pretty sure, anyways. i probably won't let the cameras follow me (i am sure they would really, really want to though since i am really just that interesting-- i am sure of it. *self-deprecating smirk*) cause it's not going to be pretty, folks. but, there's going to be lots of cheese. and a big smile. and maybe a couple of well-placed moans...