my ducks are crooked

I like to have all my little ducks in a row. All the time. When I have things on my to-do list or or loose ends just hanging out there, it drives me crazy. At the moment, I have several duckies that are out of line, and I am working to convince myself to just let it go and trust that it will work itself out.

One duck is my Ethiopia trip. I am waiting, less than patiently, for news and updates and decisions. It's all pretty much out of my hands at this point, and I just have to sit and wait and pray. I'm not especially good at any of those three things.

Another duck is work stuff. They need SO many documents and tons of information and you can't do this until they get that and this and the other thing. So, it's kind of a juggling act, and right now I am waiting for either A)my CO driver's license to come in the mail or B)my renewed passport to come in the mail before I can be officially hired and actually start orientation.

My third out-of-line duck is budget and finances. I am trying to get everything switched from one bank account to another bank account, pay off my car, waiting for a check to appear in my mailbox, waiting for funds to get transferred over, worrying about bills, groceries, scrubs for work, and everything else all at the same time.

My last duck is scheduling work and trips and fun and orientation and everything else that pops up in the meantime. I like to have things planned out and marked down. I like to know what I am doing for the next month and get things all settled. I am trying to work out a couple important trips at the same time as starting a new job. Not usually the best plan, but they are kind life-altering little ventures, so ya know....

My ducks are not cooperating at all. I am discovering that I might have touches of OCD...my boyfriend emphatically agrees with me (as I am constantly fixing his watch if it's not COMPLETELY secured in every way the manufacturer intended or turning off the radio if there's a slight buzz that no one else can even hear).

And as I was driving home this afternoon and trying to calm myself and not worry about all the rampant ducks flying all over the place when they should be sitting calmly in a dignified row, I couldn't help but think that God was just looking at me and chuckling and telling me, "Child, chill out. Have I left you hanging yet? Have you wanted for anything? Do you think I am confused or worried about everything that you need and where I want you to be in the coming weeks? Just chill. I've got this. For you are mine and see you and know you. I've got it, so you can let go. Trust me." So, I am trying to just let it go. Trying.

Psalm 121
I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you—the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.