dating 101: there's never an appropriate time to say that

So last year I went out with this guy a few times. We had "the great date." For all of you non-daters out there - this is the ever elusive date. The kind of date that lasts for at least 6 hours but it feels like you just walked out your front door. The kind where the awkward silences are slim to none and the witty banter and casual flirting are abundant and well placed to create "that feeling." For girls, I think we may get this feeling about once every 3 or 4 years; boys seems to experience this every time they turn a corner...or blink. But, if you are like me, and I know lots of chickies out there that are...it's a rare and beautiful thing to get excited about a boy.

Anyhoo. We went out a few times. Things were going well. And then things kind of blew apart in a rather quick and dirty fashion that is not uncommon in my life. You get over it. However, that is not what this lesson is about.

Let me set the scene for you. We are watching tv at his place. There has been fun and flirting all night. We start to do a little kissing. And this is what comes out of his mouth...
"Ya know, if you got a dvd or something you could really flatten out your abs."

So I slapped him. Well, I wish I had slapped him. I am about 99.99% sure that a statement like that deserves a hearty, well-placed, open-handed slap right across a boy's kisser. But, I think I was in shock. So, I didn't really say much of anything. (I know! Such a waste of an opportunity to let the jack*ss really have it. sigh.) And then I got to thinking of a time when a statement such as that would be considered appropriate. Here's the one and only scenario that I came up with

If we had been together for many many many years...
and we were at the gym...
and I specifically asked...
and really meant it...
then it would be appropriate; then and only then. No exceptions on this one. Not even a hint of one. I'm sorry; you're dumb. And I'm fabulous.

blessings....I'm counting 'em

I realize that counting one's blessings is usually reserved for the Thanksgiving holiday of which we just celebrated. However, I am a little bit of a rebel and don't like to do things just because I am "supposed to." (want to add an "amen" in there, mom?) I am thankful for a lot of things, but I will express it in my own time, thank you very much, and not because the calendar is making me. So, I thought that since the holiday of thanks has safely passed, I would take a page out of my friend's blogging repertoire and make a list.

I am full of thanks for...

1. a rockin' brother-in-law and sister that let me live with them for free just because they can. this still amazes me. especially since they thought it was only going to be about 2.5 years that has since bloated into a minimum of 3.5 to possibly 5 years. and they still haven't mentioned kicking me out or kicking me over to mom and dad's.

2. a job that allows me to change my hours every other month, work nights/evenings/weekends or whatever combination that I need to in order to fit everything in; gives me scholarship money every semester; provides affordable insurance; and even gives me vacation time (which takes forever and a day to build up....but my sister reminds me that I should be grateful that I get any vacation time at all since I work part-time. humph.).

3. classmates that I have come to thoroughly enjoy and appreciate. (and I was pretty sure that I was going to have to kill most of them before we ever got close to graduating.) thank goodness most of them think my cynicism is witty.

4. a niece and nephew that I get to see almost every day. (ok....sometimes I don't think this is a blessing when it's play date morning and I am trying to sleep right below a game of "let's-see-how-many-times-in-a-row-we-can-jump-off-the-bed-and-scream-at-each-other-cause-it-will-be-so-much-fun." but, 98% of the time it's kind of an awesome deal. i mean, who can resist two stinkin' adorable kids that cheer and clap and run to meet you nearly every time that you walk up the stairs? yeah, it's that awesome. no aunt could ask for more.

5. new friends and old friends. so, no, I don't have very many friends. I probably wouldn't even need to use my toes to count them all, but I think that's okay. I can keep track of these friends and make time for them and make a friendship that is actually worth something. quality over quantity...and even that takes a lot of effort and work sometimes. so, I am thankful for friends that still want to be a part of my life even when we haven't had a night to hang out since sometime last summer.

6. bad dates. yes, that's what I said. because....even though this kind of blows for me and the relationship side of my life....it provides a good amount of fodder for story telling (see previous posts). and any one that knows me at all, knows that I appreciate a good story, especially if it's mine, and in spite of the fact that it's usually at my own expense. entertainment value is worth a lot in my book. so....I should also be grateful that God gave me a pretty solid sense of humor...

7. going back to school. this has been as much of a curse as a blessing at times. I should have been done and working as of this past May. However, that isn't the way my life works most of the time. so, I will be seeing two more Mays come before that BSN is in my hand. I am okay with that now (took me a while to get here, for sure) because the more I learn and progress in this program, the more I realize that not only am I in the exact profession that I should be in, but I am in the exact program, with fantastic professors, great classmates, and a huge support system. I am precisely where I am supposed to be at this time, and that feels pretty good when I have my "thinking clearly hat" on (it does get lost from time to time though).

there are more, but those are the biggies in my life at the moment. I will get back to posting the usual fare of general wittiness (ha! yeah, I know...) in the near future. I've been busy!!!