dating 101: if you don't let me out, I swear I'll scream

everyone once in a while, okay more like every other month or so, one of my friends or co-workers decides that it's a great plan to set me up with someone. I usually go along with it because 1) it's something to do on friday night 2)it's a usually a free dinner/movie/and sometimes even dessert, and 3) I am always looking for a good story :) (ok, I am a little evil sometimes, but it's just for the entertainment of those around me. kind of like britney spears but with all of my clothes on, no babies, and no marriages...or divorces. ok, so not like britney at all, but whatever.)

so, this time one of the teachers that I used to work with decided to set me up with a buddy of his. I do believe his last name was "pancake." this was unacceptable. abbey pancake? um, no. I think not. but, anyways we met for dinner and began the usual dance.

dinner was awkward. evidently it was intentionally so. he stated afterward that he likes to create awkward situation on purpose "just to see how people respond." and part of me gets this - the whole "shock value" of certain statements I throw out there from time to time (this usually makes my sister laugh and my mom give me that look that says "I raised you better than that, young lady." and she did - I am just ornery like that.). but, really, if you are trying to put your best self out there on a first date...I'm thinking maybe intentionally awkwardizing every conversation isn't the way to go. but, hey, what do I know.

so after the unending awkwardness of dinner, the date was over. we get back to his car to drive the 10 minutes back to his house so I can jump into my car and make my escape. however, he thought this would be a great time - with me being a captive audience and all - to share a special song that was near and dear to his heart. he began to sift through a few burned cds looking for something in particular. and then I realize that this guy has about 25 cds...all burned...all without any markings or indication of what may be on them. awesome. and then the search really got started. he was popping cds in and out of the player like a man possessed. skipping through to the first few notes of every song...skip, skip, skip, skip, eject, insert, skip, skip, nope, that's not it, nope, nope, maybe this one, nope, skip, skip, ugh no, nope...and on and on until...we passed his house and my car. he's still searching for the song that has changed his life and my face is smashed up against the window as my car goes flying past. i thought about making a jump for it, but skid marks are rather unattractive on a girl and I scar easily.

about 20 minutes later....I am not making this up, people....20 minutes...he finally finds the song that will end the night on a perfect note: howie day, collide. seriously? pretty sure we could have found that on the top 40 station in about 4.5 seconds. and then...he starts to quote the song to me as it's playing....

Even the best fall down sometimes (looking into my eyes)
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme (nodding his head in agreement)
Out of the doubt that fills my mind (reaching out for...something)
I somehow find
You and I collide (looking at me...expecting...tears, affirmation, understanding...?)

I was at a loss. again. talk about awkward. is this a song for me? for you? about us? what the heck? and why are you talking the song at me? that's weird. no one does that. stop. stop now. please let me out of your car. you are starting to scare me. i have mace. ok, actually it's pepper spray, but, it's the pepper spray for bears. big, black, angry bears. so, I am pretty sure that it'll sting. and I have a whole can of it, and I am pretty sure I can get ya good since you are sitting like 2 feet away from me.

so, I did eventually get back to my car that night....although it did take about 35 minutes longer than it should have. and I was starting to panic a little.

note to the men out there---if you are going to hold a girl hostage in your car to listen to a "life-changing song," it better be good. howie day does not cut it. please, people.