the purse saga

My name is Abbey, and I am a shopaholic.

My friends and family know this little fact about me well. It's a part of me that I used to enjoy and indulge. However, currently I am trying a new little technique....self-control. It's been rough, people. I am a born shopper; I crave it, daydream about it, make plans and lists about all the fun things that I am going to purchase. I spend hours out scouring the mall and other various stores and snatching up whatever tickles my fancy. I scurry home with all my newly purchased treasures and take them out of their bags, remove those pesky tags, and lie them out on my bed or couch and just take time to appreciate them for a while. This routine will continue anywhere from two to around a dozen times before I can either convince myself to take things back or rationalize my way into keeping them. Obviously, I have a sickness. Good news: I know I am diseased!

So, I have been working, seriously and intentionally working, on being much more responsible with my finances, being less materialistic, and more focused on the important things in life - which is very easy to do for a short period of time...and when there isn't the sassiest little black GUESS bag you ever did see staring you straight in the face.

I had to go to TJ Maxx to look for a baby gift for a friend - a needed and legitimate purchase. I got approximately 2.5 steps into the store when my eyes fell on a super cute and oh-so-lovely GUESS bag that was perched on a display table. It was calling to me. It wanted me to take it home; I could feel this. I walked over, picked it up, unzipped it, caressed it. I loved it. It loved me. But, I was determined to be good. So, I put it back. And then promptly picked it back up. And then put it down. And then picked it back up and walked away....towards the shoes. I spent the next 30 minutes picking up a few more things: clearance sandals, a candle, a killer pair of shorts, and I did eventually find the baby gift that I needed in the first place. I then spent the next 20 minutes walking around trying to decide what I was going to take home and what I was going to put back and creating a pretty convincing argument for both sides of the question.

I ended up taking it all up to the counter. I'm weak.

The cashier starts to ring up the items, while my stomach is in knots and my conscious is super crazed with guilt. And then the cashier realizes that she forgot to sign in to her terminal, so everything must be re-rung. At this point my conscious starts to win out.

Me: "You know, I don't think I want those shorts after all."

Cashier: "Ok, no problem."

Me: " And the candle can wait, and never mind about the shoes."

Cashier: (funny sideways look) "Okaaay..."

Me: "You know what, forget the purse too. Just the baby blankets. I just want the baby blankets. Just do it quick" (in a near panic to make the correct decision and get out as soon as possible)

Cashier: (now thoroughly annoyed) "Just the blankets." (and now she thinks I am a total lune because I look like I am about to have a panic attack right then and there or maybe just break out in a dead run out to my car).

I did manage to purchase only the blankets and leave everything else in a heap at the register. However, I spent a good portion of the rest of the afternoon in a mental battle with myself over whether or not to go back and grab the super cute and sassy GUESS bag or not, followed up by a session of berating myself for being so superficial and ALL CONSUMED WITH A SILLY LITTLE PURSE.

The story should be done there, but no, that would be too easy. I decided to return the blankets the next day. As I am on my way to the store, I am praying, desperately praying, that the purse will have been snatched up by some other savvy shopper, and I won't even have to deal with it's "come hither and purchase" call to me. But no, that would also be too easy. It was there. All new and shiny and glorious. I had to walk over to it, touch it, unzip it, caress it, hold it, put it on my arm, love it for one more second. And then I snapped. I got completely and totally irritated with myself and my weak character and my superhuman strength shopping genes. I slammed the purse down, walked over to the counter, returned my blankets, and walked straight out of the store without even a glance at the devil purse. Victory! ---at least this time.

Abbey: one
GUESS bag: zilch

I am by no means cured, but I am working on it. I'm a work in progress. It will eventually get easier, right? Or maybe I will get stronger. Or maybe I will just have to stand on a chair in the middle of Macy's and yell, "Bright shiny new stuff, YOU HAVE NO HOLD ON ME." And then, security will escort me out of the store, and I won't have to deal withe the Fossil watches or the GUESS bags, or any other pretty sassy thing that beckons to me.